The final account

A tough act to follow

To the Dorchester last week for the annual dinner held by the Association for Project Management. The evening attracted a crowd of 350 who were treated to quite a performance from president Dr Martin Barnes. He began with a touching tale of when he first visited the posh central London venue... and promptly met his future wife, who was there with him that night.

After handing out some gongs and honorary memberships to figures including ex-Office of Government Commerce supremo Peter Gershon, he then reeled off a couple of stories, one centring on the Last Supper which left guests a little non-plussed.

An easy target then for comedian Sean Lock when he trotted on to the stage. "How do I follow that," he began, somewhat ironically. Barnes got in a response after Lock's set, stressing the Last Supper story was not supposed to be a joke. Cue more confused laughter from the crowd as they rushed off to the bar.

Living on a prayer

Lock did manage to tailor some of his gags for the APM industry audience, not surprisingly singling out the Wembley stadium for some comic attention. "There's been a bit of a fixture pile up due to the Wembley delay. Chelsea are going to play Bon Jovi in the charity shield in the summer," he quipped.

Lock then suggested a possible reason for the problems that have beset the project.

"I think it's down to the Australian accent. You know how the inflection goes up at the end of every sentence? When they told workers that they should come to the site tomorrow morning at eight their reaction was ‘naa they don't mean it, we'll turn up at ten'."

Stars in their eyes

It was a battle-hardened QS News that trudged back to London via Nice airport after a gruelling few days of networking in Cannes last week. We slumped in the departure lounge shoulder to shoulder with a band of glassy-eyed and dishevelled construction and property bigwigs. Some yawned, others giggled, but none were capable of intelligent speech. Scarred mentally and quite possibly physically, we resembled a platoon on its way home from a terrible war-zone, united in the unspoken understanding that no one but each other could ever understand the things we'd done and seen, and we would never forget those guys who hadn't made it… But the point was that we were shaken out of our collective stupor when a ripple of excitement ran through the departure lounge. Striding through our midst looking contrastingly fresh, healthy and glamorous were Hollywood actors Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Nevermind the rumours of the impending union of "Brangelina" at a secret European location. Could it be that this most beautiful of A-list couples had been clinching a few deals at MIPIM along with the rest of us? Pitt's link to architect Frank Gehry and his towers project in Hull is pretty well known, so perhaps he's now mulling an investment in the regeneration of Hull? Or maybe he just wanted to party with the likes of Davis Langdon's Rob Smith and Faithful+Gould's Ian Metcalfe. If anyone spotted him at the King Sturge do, do let us know.

Laing makes up

Good news appears to be emanating from the Middle East for contractor Laing O'Rourke. The firm is believed to have reached a settlement of sorts with the client for its work on the first £350m phase of the Dubai airport. Apparently Laing, which was working in a joint venture on the project with Al Naboodah and was beset by major material price hikes during construction, has been significantly helped by the attitude of get the job done first then sort out the claims, which not surprisingly goes down well with clients over there. Apparently the firm is now on to sorting out the final account for the Mall of the Emirates scheme, which included that wacky indoor ski slope.

A word in your ear

We were intrigued to come across the business card of Chris Goldthorpe, boss of Mace's QS arm Sense. Undoubtedly everyone likes their cards to stand out but Goldthorpe's is striking in the extreme. It is a small leaflet featuring all types of handy contact details and an impressive list of core skills, which is all fair enough. But it's the front panel of the concertina that has grabbed our attention. It is plastered with an alarmingly close-up image of a human ear. Apparently life-size and surrounded by fair hair, this ear bears more than a passing resemblance to the shell-likes of Goldthorpe himself. Is it just us or is anyone else freaked out?