Rough justice

A Carlisle man who rescued fellow residents during the recent floods that battered the city is set to be rewarded … with a spell behind bars.

The good Samaritan spent two days ferrying people to safety in his dinghy, but he could face a jail term for helping a local garage owner move his cars 100 yards to higher ground. Unfortunately he didn’t possess a driving licence and was arrested as a result. Now there’s gratitude for you …

All walks of life

Peterborough council has launched an initiative to stop its housing staff piling on the pounds. In an effort to ensure that employees are getting fit rather than fat, the council has issued staff with pedometers to measure how many steps they take each day.

Though it is clearly admirable that the council is taking an interest in the health and fitness of its staff, Social Animal wonders if the real reason for the pedometers is that it enables council bosses to monitor how often employees are walking outside for a cigarette break.

Cash for trash

The citizens of Scarborough will soon be hit with fines of up to £1000 for improperly positioning their rubbish receptacles.

The town is set to become the first in the country to introduce “parking tickets” for improperly stationed wheelie bins.

The council’s cleansing services team will investigate reports of all bins left inappropriately on the footpath, leaving a “ticket” to remind householders of their responsibility. If the occupant ignores the ticket, and a follow-up letter, they will then be in line for a fine. After all, they can’t say they haven’t bin warned.

A bad case of worms

Silver Homes’ £3.5m development of six family houses in Brighton has been halted by some unusual local residents.

Developers had to stop work on the homes after it was discovered that the plans would have disrupted a colony of slow-worms.

Silver Homes was forced to relocate the legless lizards, which are a protected species in Britain. But the removals didn’t come cheap – the developers had to shell out £50,000 for the rehousing.

Impaired vision

There was an outbreak of amnesia at the ODPM this week as John Prescott was quizzed on housing. One particularly gruelling question challenged the deputy prime minister to name the title of the document outlining the department’s policy for the next decade of local government. After some embarrassed head-scratching, “Two Jags” turned imploringly to his aides. Several guesses later, one brainbox piped up with the correct answer: The Future of Local Government – Developing a 10-year Vision. Okay John, next question … where did you leave your car keys?

The phantom menace

Birmingham & Sandwell pathfinder Urban Living began demolition of the Cape Hill brewery site last week to make way for 900 new homes. But the pathfinder may have difficulty evicting the site’s last resident.

Those attending the demolition, including Lord Rooker, were told about a ghost that is said to haunt the brewery. Locals claim there have been numerous sightings of the phantom, which is partial, apparently, to walking past the brewery’s offices. Negotiations are rumoured to be ongoing about rehousing the spook, which is expected to put up a spirited fight.

Source

Housing Today