Everybody at the conference seems to be having a whale of a time - except Gordon Brown, of course
Let's be honest: Labour came to this conference like a troubled child in need of Christmas. But with the growing mutiny against Gordon Brown, a week of even deeper financial turmoil and a Tory lead that, despite having halved after the rescue of HBOS on Friday, still stood at 12 points going into the conference, it wasn't easy to see what they were going to have to cheer about.
And that's leaving aside the fact that, owing to the credit squeeze, most business delegates - the hosts of many of the wine-fuelled fringe events - will have had “that chat” with the boss about expenses before making the trip to Manchester.
When eventually, reluctantly, Mandy handed over the podium, he stood with one foot still on the platform, poised like a young gazelle in case called upon once more
It is a reflection on the surreal nature of this conference that the answer last night seemed to be Peter Mandelson. While Brown was off somewhere fretting about Tuesday's speech to the conference - in which he will say that even without full government support, he at least has Alan Sugar and JK Rowling who think he's the right man for the job - Mandy was receiving ovation after ovation from a packed room of drinkers in the Radisson hotel.
What he was talking about, it's difficult to say - and, to be honest, it didn't seem to matter. Europe! We can cheer about that. United! We'll cheer on that and drown you out. And, again: Europe! The mood was enhanced by a strange disco lighting effect, caused by one worse-for-wear delegate leaning on a set of switches, apparently.
David Miliband, as you would expect, is acting like the party's star turn in that annoying manner of the guy who doesn't own the house about to get trashed
And Mandy was loving it. When eventually, reluctantly, he handed over the podium, he stood with one foot still on the platform, poised like a young gazelle in case he was called upon to start the fun once more. Labour's faithful were behaving like people who hadn't been to a party in years - and the man who fell to the floor in drunken emotion probably really hadn't.
And it's not just Mandy. In fact, everybody in the Labour Party who isn't Gordon Brown seems to be having a whale of a time. John Prescott was practically mobbed when arriving at the conference hall yesterday - apparently due in part to the little stickers he was giving out urging labour to “Go 4th” for another term in office. “We don't need policies, we want stickers!” seemed to be the message from the crowd.
Even the police are in jovial mood - perhaps they think it unlikely that anybody would seek to kick Brown when he's down and attack the conference
David Miliband, as you would expect, is acting like the party's star turn in that annoying manner of the guy who doesn't own the house about to get trashed. Despite the latest polls suggesting, perhaps surprisingly, that fewer party faithful prefer him to Brown as leader, he has been frequently spotted laughing and joking with delegates on the fringes. No minister seems to mind stopping for a chat as long as it's not Brown - including schools minister Jim Knight, whom I inadvertently blocked into a cupboard at a fringe event earlier this morning (post-Mandy hangover - I didn't really know what I was doing until it was too late).
Even the police are in jovial mood - perhaps they think it unlikely that anybody would seek to kick Brown when he's down and attack the conference. It took me three attempts - and three separate lots of behind-closed doors questioning by the constabulary - to enter the arena on Sunday due to a bizarre mix-up with everything from my date of birth to laminating my pass (“What do I laminate? Was I meant to laminate my date of birth? What month do YOU want me to have been born in? You're the man with the gun, after all”).
When I eventually managed to breach the barriers, I received something akin to an ovation from the men on security who, to be honest, probably never wanted to see this supposed journalist freak of indeterminate age again. Brown is probably hoping for a similarly generous reception from his party, and the strange thing is that, with the way things are going, it might just happen.
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