Last night the Prime Minister was welcomed like a hero, but can he win the crowd with his address to conference today?
"A signed copy of the prime minister's first ever speech to Labour Conference as leader, who will start the bidding? Bottle of whisky, also signed by Gordon Brown – do I hear £100?"
Poor Gordon. As I stood in the northern reception last night, listening to a woman trying to shout the auction items out above the noise of people far more interested in the free wine, I wondered whether his career as PM is really so dead he's already becoming memorabilia – a kitsch reminder of that strange period in history when all the banks went into meltdown and we spent our days queuing outside Northern Rock, just for the hell of it.
But 10 minutes later it seemed I was wrong. As Nick Brown bellowed "welcome from the Labour heartlands!" all eyes spun to the back door as the rabble – with an organisational level rarely seen at the Conference – formed itself into a single chanting voice. The chant? Unbelievably: "Gordon, Gordon, Gordon!"
As the sea of delegates parted to allow the prime minister to make his way on to the stage, Brown suddenly seemed at home. Sporting his sharp new conference haircut, he was an instant hit with the crowd: "The Tories seem to want to close down the north. You know why? That's because the north abandoned the Tories!"
As the sea of delegates parted to allow the prime minister to make his way on to the stage, Brown suddenly seemed at home
The comedy routine wasn't always the best – the Northern Rock joke "We're now shirt sponsors of Newcastle United" resulted in a mixture of cheers and boos and one shout of "Bring Keegan back" – but it didn't matter.
He was Cameron-bashing: "David – the latest story I read today is he's donating his cycle helmet to charity. The only reason he's doing that is his chauffeur is fed-up of dragging it around in the car!"
He was rousing: "We'll take you through the difficulty, show labour values in action!"
Above all, he was welcomed like a hero. Just a shame it wasn't his actual conference address. It remains to be seen what, if anything, they'll be chanting there.
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