Simple rules: Don't be a loser, don't stand next to one, don't trail banners across the sky advertising that you are one, don't accept umbrellas from one
The guv'nor at the Housing Corporation may be hard as nails, but the firemen at the Gherkin are running scared and we're now terrified of public toilets
Lese-majesty is rife, skulduggery rampant and secret relationships everywhere. Remember, if you look round the table and can't spot the chump – it's you
This week, the bet between Dennis Lenard and John Smith is on, Aukett's new boss learns the facts of British life and some advice on how to have a ball
This week, Libeskind is trashed by Joe Public, the RICS is entertained by a cool cat, and Peter Mandelson and the army are reduced to name-calling. Miaow …
This week, we present high quality nattering about the top job at CABE, the state of the railways (tch), Foster's Riverside flats and poor old Jarvis …
This week: delicious irony, stale hobbies, a traditional Suffolk Christmas dinner and a minister with his fingers in his ears going la-la-la-not-listening
This week, we see Nigel Griffiths endearing himself to the industry, we have a demonstration of PR in action and we discover Paul Everall's guilty secret
In the last ice age, humankind battled a frozen universe for moments of warmth and fragments of meat. These days, of course, you have to work for Gleeds
This week, the usual bile-black tide of backstabbing, greed, ruthless ambition, denial, hatred and negativity – and that's just the one with Nigel Griffiths
Nothing much happening this week: just terror in a north London university, the dark night of the soul in an Arctic archipelago and naked waterskiing …