Hansom

Putting The Office in ODPM
News reaches me of bizarre behaviour by John Prescott, who recently held a morale-boosting seminar for his ODPM at London’s Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre. Apparently, Prescott came on stage to the Tina Turner classic, Simply the Best, mirroring David Brent’s tactic before his “motivational” talk in The Office. Well, Prezza may have some of Brent’s moves, but can he match the charm?

No change of plan
It was a sombre Seb Coe who opened the first Olympics press conference after London’s victory in Singapore with the message that “our actions are dedicated to those who suffered last week”, and news that security will be handled by a Cabinet-level committee. Keith Mills, the chief executive of the bid, struck a more jaunty note. “Now we can progress with Plan A,” he beamed. “Plan B was considerably shorter …”

No messing with McGuckin
Land Securities’ directors are known to favour a hands-on approach to project management, but none is quite in the league of development manager Steve McGuckin. After hiring a builder to do up his home, McGuckin became aware that he had taken on another job, thereby slowing progress. When the unfortunate contractor turned up for his second job, McGuckin was waiting for him outside. The unfortunate chap was dispatched back up the A316 to McGuckin’s Richmond pad faster than he could apologise. McGuckin’s daily routine now includes a 5am wake-up call to check that the builder understands his route to work.

Bad timing
Poor old Michael Hopkins. The good people of Hopkins Architects had been planning a big celebration for 7 July at its recently completed Evelina Hospital job. Then the tragic events in London intervened. “Nobody felt like celebrating after that,” said one source at the firm.

Goodwood’s glorious garage
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a bunch of Formula 1 cars superglued to lampposts. Actually, it may look like that but designer Gerry Judah and engineer NRM Bobrowski created the sculpture for the 2005 Goodwood Festival of Speed. The sculpture has six Honda-powered Grand Prix cars and is 50 m high, 40 m wide and has 55 m long “swinging arms” made of toughened steel. I’m more of a Michelangelo man myself, but full marks for effort …

Anarchy at the HCVA
Moments after Geoffrey Robinson finished his inaugural speech at the Heating and Ventilating Contractors Association's annual bash, a 25-year-old blonde named Sarah invaded the stage. “I’m sorry everybody, but I’m going to New Zealand with my boyfriend and the only way I get my leaving present is if I sing a song,” she explained. Onlookers were getting into her rendition of Close to You when she was joined by two more ladies who described themselves as “Divas Incognito”. It was all too much for one guest with inflammable breath, who took it upon himself to chase them across the dining room as they launched into Dancing Queen.