We have a distinguished collection of April fools for you this week, headed by Richard Rogers, Tony Blair, John Prescott, Prince Charles and George Wimpey

An exchange of words

The cosy relationship between John Prescott and Richard Rogers is well and truly over. The halcyon days of the late 1990s, when Prescott appointed Rogers head of his urban taskforce, have turned into a series of spats in the letters page of The Guardian. In aletter two weeks ago, Rogers railed against the ODPM for its “blatant U-turn” on PPS6, the planning policy statement on out-of-town development. Trouble was, Rogers had only read the newspaper’s report, which had got it wrong. Cue Prescott’s letter on Monday.

“It is a pity Richard Rogers could not ring me about his concerns, or at least take the time to read the new policy statement.” Miaow!

Cruelty to journalists

Government press trips are often uninspired, but last week’s Thames Gateway event in Gravesend, Kent, took the biscuit. Hacks were invited to a large shack by the river, where they shivered for half an hour. After further delay, the river side of the shack opened up, a boat arrived and a succession of regeneration bods disembarked two by two, like the animals leaving the ark. Tony Blair and Prescott followed, surrounded, bizarrely, by schoolchildren. After listening to the Reverend Blair’s sermon, the corralled hacks were given a final insult: no questions could be asked. I suspect the next one will be attended solely by teenagers on work experience.

Mr Prescott entertains

At least Prezza can be relied on for laffs. In his opening preamble, he got misty-eyed about his days as a merchant seaman. Fifty years ago, he revealed, he had served on a ship carrying Conservative prime minister Sir Anthony Eden during the Suez crisis. “He was under constant pressure to resign,” Prezza said, before adding: “not making any comparisons with today, Tony.”

Boom, boom

One bigwig who didn’t make it onto Blair’s ark was CABE chief executive Richard Simmons, who sent his new deputy Joanna Averley in his stead. Simmons had an appealingly simple excuse for his no-show: he was mending his daughter’s car. Better than the old “washing my hair” chestnut, I suppose, although in the end both going to Gravesend and staying at home involved hanging out with a bunch of tools.

A letter for you

George Wimpey thinks its housing development alongside the PFI-funded Brighton library is set to be the biggest hit in Brighton. A local graffiti artist agrees – with just one tiny amendment …

Magritte would be proud

The prize for the top April fool goes to Belgian practice Art & Build. Its surreally unfeasible design for a “European Observatory of Fauna and Flora in the Urban Environment”, complete with insectoidal body, stilts and random windmills, received backing from politicians and was the subject of a full-page news story in Le Soir. Whoever said the Belgians were only famous for chocolates and bureaucrats?


The finishing touch
The finishing touch
Word has reached me of an interesting job advert. Apparently there’s a vacancy going for “Traditional Cheerful Gentleman of the Road” at the Prince Charles’ Poundbury village in Dorset. “The successful recruit will be a friendly, outgoing, presentable tramp with a ready smile and a kind word for everyone.”

The only problem is that this heart-warming position was advertised in pages of satirical magazine Viz. But the spoof slogan “Poundbury Heritage Village – Forward to an Imaginary Past” hits the nail beautifully on the head.


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