Hansom

King Billy
An eventful year in the life of Sir William McAlpine took another twist this month. As you will remember, his personal life was splashed over the tabloids Boris Johnson-style earlier in the year. Then there was the sensational court battle with those parvenus at Alfred McAlpine in the spring. Now, word reaches me that he will take on the exciting role of warrior chief if, as is anticipated, the many McAlpines of the world regain their official status as a clan. The family traces its lineage from Kenneth McAlpine, crowned the first king of the Scots in 843 AD. Sadly, the McAlpine’s fell on hard times in the 14th century, losing the throne, all its land and its chief.

Now that things have picked up again, King Ken’s many descendents, most of whom live in the USA, decided this month that Billy should be their newly appointed chief as they believe he is the genealogical head of the most prominent McAlpine family in Scotland. Rumours that the llama-lover will be played by Mel Gibson in an upcoming biopic are, as yet, unconfirmed.

A trip to the vet
It can be a tough job working for Constructionline, the industry’s introduction service for contractors and consultants. Steve Kinsella, the former Norwest Holst and Balfour Beatty marketing man, is its present client relationship director, and he appeared just a little jaded when explaining its benefits to a gathering of industry bods and clients at the Construction Marketing Conference.

“After 16 years in marketing departments in the industry I thought getting people to use Constructionline would be easy,” he sighed.

“In reality, it’s a long, slow process.” Well remember the industry motto, Steve: nil desperandum.

Any questions? Not you …
I see Colin Harding was on fine form at last week’s CBI Conference. The managing director of George & Harding was reported in The Times as “ambushing” Gordon Brown after he made a speech on pensions. “Since 1997, the uninvited consequences of the government’s disastrous attempt to deregulate our pensions has turned our system from one of the best in the world to the one most likely to collapse first,” he stormed. Has the Iron Chancellor finally met his match?

Troubled Tess
Word reaches me that Tessa Jowell is spending too much time gambling. The Culture Department supremo has not been working the one-arm bandits, but she is “snowed under” by the fall-out from her gambling bill. Thornfield Properties has waited six months for a decision on whether to list Smithfield Market, and has now applied for judicial review. What’s more, the decision on Chris Smith’s bid to become the new CABE chairman is also in her overflowing in-tray.

Dash, drat, blow, dear oh dear
I hear that Home Counties housebuilder Bewley Homes is frantically seeking subcontractors with impeccable manners. The company is building some rather nice homes in the shadow of Douai Abbey, near Reading in Berkshire, which is home to a community of Benedictine monks. Not unnaturally, the abbey is keen for its tranquil retreat to remain undisturbed, so the housebuilder has agreed to prevent any unsavoury behaviour on site, notably any outbursts of a blasphemous nature. In which case, it should be a very quiet site indeed.