Hansom: Epic tales

No, non, nyet, nein and we don’t have one

I’m told there was a frantic scramble to finish the Yas hotel in Abu Dhabi in time for this weekend’s inaugural Grand Prix (see page 22 for pictures of this extraordinary scheme). All the project team were putting in at least 12-hour days, but spare a thought for the chap who got the job of fielding calls from A-list celebs demanding rooms for the big event. Unfortunately for him, most of them had been commandeered by local sheikhs, which meant he spent his time saying no to people who’ve become unfamiliar with the meaning of the word. Our spy overheard him saying he’d just put down the phone after just such a conversation with Naomi Campbell. Well, after a change of identity and a spot of light plastic surgery he should be able to laugh about that one …

Roofless people

Richard Hughes, the relationship manager for the division of Lloyds TSB that takes care of social housing, was keen to unveil his institution’s plans for something called “neoclassical banking” at a recent conference on housing. To illustrate this back-to-basics approach, he showed the audience a picture of a Greek temple, complete with sturdy Doric columns. These represented the “pillars of investment”, er, obviously. Unfortunately, as Hughes himself pointed out, the building’s roof was absent. Was this one of those clever architectural metaphors for Lloyds’ predicament since its merger with HBOS?

The neverending journey

Word reaches me of an unfortunate expedition across the pond for some Parsons Brinckerhoff employees. In a sequence of events straight out of the film Planes, Trains and Automobiles, the toilers landed Stateside at the wrong airport in the middle of a hurricane. Oh, and the airport had also been struck by lightning. In total it took 26 hours for the group to meet their US counterparts. I wonder who Steve Martin will play in the remake …

Over-ruled

Alan Pearce, a former war correspondent in Kabul, has produced a book that explores the perils of (wait for it) Britain’s safety regulations. Highlights include fire extinguishers being removed from flats because they were deemed a safety hazard and the 16-year-old refused employment by a cleaning firm because he didn’t have clearance to use a vacuum cleaner or hot water. I admit I’m rather shocked that none of these were included in Rita Donaghy’s recommendations for improving the industry’s safety record. For more on the book, visit www.healthandsafetygonemad.me.uk.

Lord of the pies

At last I have found an answer to a question that has puzzled philosophers, historians and students of human nature since the dawn of time. Who ate all the pies? Well, it was the Civil Engineering Contractors Association, with help from a few hungry journalists, at the body’s annual dinner last week. A staggering array was on offer, from steak and kidney to sweet potato and lentil, all devised by the “pie master” of Mayfair’s Windmill Pub. After the news that the UK is still mired in recession, I’m sure a little comfort food went down very well.

House warming

Paul King, the UK Green Building Council’s chief executive, has left his super-insulated,
triple-glazed, biomass-fuelled castle of sustainability in Shropshire for a Georgian house in Shrewsbury. But he can’t be accused of joining the ranks of the townhouse-owning property squirearchy who preach green matters while leaking heat from every sash window: he will give the whole place a retrofit as soon as he moves in. “He’s been boring lots people about U-values lately,” a source close to the matter tells me. Send any juicy industry gossip to hansom@ubm.com